Well, I changed my blog's look... Just felt like doing something new.
A couple weeks ago, we all were getting ready to send out a newsletter. Dave is the main guy, his computer has the program that has the template for the newsletter. We all chat and see who's gonna write what and whatever else... then Dave puts it all together. Well he was just finalizing the newsletter and at one point he set the computer down on a sack on magazines which was on the dinning table... the computer slid and fell to the floor. It has a HUGE dent on one corner and would not work. He sent to the shop for a check-up... and it would cost over $1000 to repair it. Geesh. So now, we're all sharing Anthony's mac. No big deal, except Dave and Bethany have a ton of precious information and photos on the other computer and the template and stuff for the newsletter is no longer accessible for now. It is a real bummer for them! Dave is attempting to fix the computer on his own by replacing the hard drive himself. Hope that works out. Anyway, I had written an article that was suppose to be on the newsletter. Since there isn't any going out soon, I figured I'd post the article on here.
So here it is:
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As a member of the Heart4CapeTown mission crew, being a mom has been the most challenging aspect to learn, figure out and to grow from. My heart and love has been stretch and pulled and changed since becoming a mom. In a country far from my own family and friends has put me in many lonely days of feeling like I am not needed since I feel like I do so little compare to the rest of the crew. My number one responsibility is Ryann Grace, my little girl. Since she is the number one priority for me here in South Africa, it diminishes my other opportunities to serve. I struggled with guilt and frustration of having to take care of Ryann and not being able to do more for Cape Town. Then I started feeling terrible for not feeling like my daughter is enough for me. On and on it went.
On top of my guilt and frustrations, I was having a hard time finding people who wanted to hang out with me. I felt disliked and discouraged. I finally opened up and shared my feelings with Karin, one of the moms from the mom's group I attend. She, along with my own mother, grandmother and mother-in-law, really impressed upon me the importance of motherhood and raising a child to know and follow God.
February came around. It had been a whole year since my life was dramatically changed forever. My independent, stubborn, loving and beautiful little girl turned one on Valentine's day. The friday before Ryann's birthday, the moms of the mom's group threw Ryann a surprise birthday party. I teared up. They ushered Ryann and I to the table where all the goodies were and then sat us down to open presents. With each present was a birthday card with birthday wishes for the one year old and the words of encouragement for me. I cried. Karin communicated with the moms expressing some of the feelings that I had and organized the party. They showered Ryann and I with love and expressions of joy and excitement that we were part of their lives at this point of time.
God rescued me from my despair of guilt, frustrations, loneliness and discouragement and gave me these wonderful ladies to uplift me and point me directly back to Him. Sure, I still struggle with not being able to do as much as I wish I could and sure, I still struggle with being content with the amazing role of being Ryann's mom. Yet my joy and purpose in this life has been renewed, refilled and overflowed with grace that only comes from Him.
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That is just a small taste of what my life has been like here in SA. I am sorry I have not written more about the ladies of mom's group or the ladies of SunShade. They are such a big part of my life right now and I do wish I have written about them. However, this blog, when I first started out was to mainly keep my family (both Carlsons and Rodriguezs) updated on their little grand daughter/niece. So that was my reason. But now that I only have 3 months left, i am going to attempt to write stories about the ministry aspect of my life. That way you all get a better idea of what's going on here besides a little girl being super duper cute and whinny. :)
But please be patient. I struggle to write. :)


























